It was Monday morning the 2nd of October (well, to be fair, afternoon as I don’t do mornings). I woke up and felt … strange. Like there was a ‘not rightness’ in the air. And I was cranky, a level of cranky that is very unlike me. I am currently living in a time zone that is twelve hours ahead of the United States and that day of all days we didn’t have internet or tv. When it returned at around 8 pm at night, I logged in and almost immediately found out about the shooting in Las Vegas. Ahhh… clarity arose… I had been tapping into the ripple that was going out into the world. A ripple that did not speak of love or harmony or ‘rightness’ on any level.
By nighttime, I could barely sit still. The level of discomfort intensifying throughout my body. I got up, put the music on and started to move. I felt like the Goddess Kali, rage rising like lava. Hot. Devouring. Burn it all down! All the illusions, the lies, the untruths, the hypocrisy, the greed. Until only The Truth remains: Thy shall not do harm upon another living sentient Being, which includes this planet we call Earth.
And I felt so small. Disappearing into the powerlessness, the smallness of this human self that does not know what to do to make this pain stop. Please. God. What can we do to make this stop. Please…God? … Supplication.
And frustration. And numbness. And the inability to hold it All. And on and on it goes. I dance for a long time that night, until I feel purified by the sweat that drenches me. Until all those raging emotions have been offered to the dance as a prayer of redemption, leaving stillness in its wake. And peace.
As the week goes by I notice the ripple effects of that day. My family is feeling it, and my wider circle of friends, clients and acquaintances. I hear so many stories of uncomfortable incidences and experiences showing up for people in a way that they haven’t for years. I feel a blanket of heaviness trying to pull me into a spin cycle that would not create grace in my life. It’s as if the planet is tilting on its axes, wobbling for a moment as it finds its right trajectory again. And of course from the Las Vegas shooting we go straight into the thousands of acres of land currently being consumed by fire in California. It’s a lot to take in.
This is what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt: If I do not consciously rise to the occasion, if I do not lift my vibration, if I do not expand into the highest potential of the all that is occurring on planet earth right now, it will make me smaller. It will feel as if this world is spinning out of control, as if it’s not safe to be here. I will find myself in a perpetual state of emotional vulnerability and even crisis and I will be unable to contribute the fullness of what I have to offer the world. So, taking a deep breath, I rise. Again and again, and again, I expand and step into grace and celebrate what is right in the world. I hope to meet you in that space.