I went to Florida on Christmas. To walk along the beaches and allow mysef to exhale, to empty fully of all that was no longer needed, all that was complete before I stepped into the new year. Those hours and days of communing with the ocean were orgasmic. It felt like she was pouring through me, as if I were a part of her waves, of the ebb and swell of her tides. I was being emptied and filled simultaneously. And I expanded into the vastness of her, allowing myself to step into a different space of Being.
The message that came through clearly and insistently for this new year was one of Surrender. I was being asked to let go even deeper into the Mystery of who I am. Into a deeper merging with the lifeforce of Creation, allowing my rhythm to converge with the pulse of that which wants to happen.
Upon returning, I got sick. Really really sick. For days and then weeks. Lying in bed, cuddled up in blankets, unable to ‘do’ anything other than Surrender, I realised that my body was letting go. Of old bacteria and viruses and thoughtforms and patterns and simply everything that was not in alignment with the shape and form that is needed for this year. Nothing was wrong, rather everything was very very right. And through that very physical surrender, I found my heart opening even more. Lying in stillness, day after day, I felt stripped down, naked. Experiencing life through the inside, seeing us all as constellations of stars in the sky, blinding in their brilliance. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of it, by the utter perfection of it all.
In this stillness and silence of being, the new year slowly took shape. The form and structure revealing itself, asking me to book tickets, sign up for events, presence myself in specific places at specific times. I know that this new year is inviting me to presence myself in the world on a much larger scale. The exquisite beauty of the invitation is that that larger presencing does not ask for or require more ‘doing’ or ‘hustle’ or ‘pushing’. It simply requires deeper presence, deeper stillness, more allowance and receptivity. More Surrender. And yes, the moments of ‘doing’ will increase as the year progresses, but they are the birthing of a creation that is formed in stillness and presence and require nothing from me but the deepest of inner alignments. A surrendering of my body, heart and soul to a rhythm that is far bigger than me whilst simply saying ‘yes, I am here. Dance me.’